So, banyak yang ak nak cter kat dlm ni sebenarnyer tapi post kali ni ak nak focuskan kat sowang j. she's my everything, DZURINA ZULKAFREE. i know i've been a jerk since i start working, since we left Pulau Pinang. i treat u like a jerk, i don't even smile when i'm with u, i don't even laugh anymore. i've realized those. but although i realized it, i can't do anything. it's like i've lost my sense of humour. i never felt happy anymore. even with my family, i just fake my smile, my laughter. i don't know what's wrong with me. i lost it. i lost my sweet, cheerful and funny personality in me. i can't even smile ang laugh anymore. i feel angry, sad, stress, depress, and angry all the time.
I'm sorry ween. i, myself don't even recognize this new Na'imullah Sabiq anymore. i cant feel happy or joy in this new me. i feel like something inside of me has the control ofme. it's like something nasty is in me. i wanted ur help but my ego is just too high for me to ask for ur help. i dont even know why.
these pictures? yeah, i miss those days. u think i dont even miss these days when i'll always treat u like a princess? when i used to be so excited when we about to go for a date? when i used to be happy and always smile when im with u? i love it. heck even im enjoying it. but i dont know why i cant even do that nowdays.
its like i dont know how to smile and be happy anymore. its not happening when im just with u it, it even happens when im with my family, my best friend, Bohjan. if u dont believe me, just ask him. i dont even talk to him that much when i used to talk to him before. i just sitting there with him, hearing what he has to say and just keep quite. ask him if u dont believe me.
so please dont be mad at me, yelling at me for who i am now. please help me instead. i really need ur help to bring the happiness and joyness in me again.
and i want to admit to u about something. remember when i used to be a player? back then, i feel really happy when i talk to other girls. so, i tried to do that and u know what happened? i didn't even enjoy it. it feels like i dont want to do it but i tried because i thought that it would make me happy and i was wrong. u realized that im no longer text or call other women right. i didnt even scared if u check my phone whenever u like right? i'll just be mad at u coz u cant even trust me.
i dont know whats happening to me anymore ween. i cant even recognize myself anymore. it's like i cant feel happy and excited even what i do nowdays.
SO PLEASE HELP ME!!
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