HELP ME?!

  Owk. dah lamer ak xpost paper kat blog ak ni. memandangkan ak skang ni ngah tunggu result towk certificate PCN ak, ak aderla maser ckit nak post kat blog ni.

  So, banyak yang ak nak cter kat dlm ni sebenarnyer tapi post kali ni ak nak focuskan kat sowang j. she's my everything, DZURINA ZULKAFREE. i know i've been a jerk since i start working, since we left Pulau Pinang. i treat u like a jerk, i don't even smile when i'm with u, i don't even laugh anymore. i've realized those. but although i realized it, i can't do anything. it's like i've lost my sense of humour. i never felt happy anymore. even with my family, i just fake my smile, my laughter. i don't know what's wrong with me. i lost it. i lost my sweet, cheerful and funny personality in me. i can't even smile ang laugh anymore. i feel angry, sad, stress, depress, and angry all the time.

  I'm sorry ween. i, myself don't even recognize this new Na'imullah Sabiq anymore. i cant feel happy or joy in this new me. i feel like something inside of me has the control ofme. it's like something nasty is in me. i wanted ur help but my ego is just too high for me to ask for ur help. i dont even know why.

  
  these pictures? yeah, i miss those days. u think i dont even miss these days when i'll always treat u like a princess? when i used to be so excited when we about to go for a date? when i used to be happy and always smile when im with u? i love it. heck even im enjoying it. but i dont know why i cant even do that nowdays.

  its like i dont know how to smile and be happy anymore. its not happening when im just with u it, it even happens when im with my family, my best friend, Bohjan. if u dont believe me, just ask him. i dont even talk to him that much when i used to talk to him before. i just sitting there with him, hearing what he has to say and just keep quite. ask him if u dont believe me.

  so please dont be mad at me, yelling at me for who i am now. please help me instead. i really need ur help to bring the happiness and joyness in me again.

  and i want to admit to u about something. remember when i used to be a player? back then, i feel really happy when i talk to other girls. so, i tried to do that and u know what happened? i didn't even enjoy it. it feels like i dont want to do it but i tried because i thought that it would make me happy and i was wrong. u realized that im no longer text or call other women right. i didnt even scared if u check my phone whenever u like right? i'll just be mad at u coz u cant even trust me.

  i dont know whats happening to me anymore ween. i cant even recognize myself anymore. it's like i cant feel happy and excited even what i do nowdays.

SO PLEASE HELP ME!!

JERK!!

 arini ak mmg nak maki puas2. sumpah ak ckp, ak mmg xpuas ati gler babi ngan mamat 2 ekor kat tempat kjer ak 2. to be more specific, their name are firdaus bin zainal abidin(mat) and syafiq(black). kalo kowg terbaca blog ni kowg pepandai r ubah sikap kowg 2. kalo x, meh cni bia ak yang ubah.

 ikutkan ati ak, nak j ak pcahkan mker dowg 2. nak taw naper ak raser cam2? meh ak cter. ak bawu j msuk kjer at klang ni, amek bidang NDT. mler2 2 owk la bab sumer owg owk j ngan ak. walopown dowg sumer g tua dari ak. tapi tadi mser ak kat tmpt kjer, ak tgkla movie. xd kjer. ak pown layan la movie. bosan la katakan. pas2 tetber j dtg bdk dua ekor ni kaco ak tgk movie. forward2 kan movie 2. ak snyap j bab hormat la kan. dowg kan lagi tua dari ak. tapi yang melampaunyer dowang twos tutup movie 2. pergh. maner xpanas ak. ikutkan ati ak, nak j ak ltupkan mker dua2 ekor 2 mser 2. tapi ak sabar jla. kang xpsl2 ak kner buang kjer lak an.

 kalo kowg nak tau, ak pantang dibuli. mmg pantang. ak pling benci kalo kner buli n dibuli. bab dlu mser ak form 1 sampai form 3, ak kner buli. bab 2 ak pantang gler. kalo kowg nak taw, ak ble j nak ltupkan mker dua2 ekor kat c2 gak. kner buang kjer pown bkn ak kisah. ble j ak crik kjer laen. tapi pk kan pakcik ak yang tolong ak dptkan kjer at c2, mls la ak nak wat hal. sian lak pakcik ak t. malu dyer t. dah la dyer share holder at syarikat yang ak kjer 2.

 ak pown dah xtawla nak ckp p g. smpi skang ak still ngah pns ngan mamat2 dua ekor 2. towk pengetahuan kowg, yang firdaus(mat) 2 bawu gakla bli kter. kter BMW. n juju ak ckp, blek j kjer tadi ak crik kter dyer. hajat d hati nak j bakar kter dyer 2. tapi cam melampau j. so ak nekad nak pancitkan tayar dyer j. tapi bler igt2 blek, ak bkn taw kter dyer yang mner. so, terbatal la hajat ak. tapi xp daus, jgn smpi ak jmper kter ko j. mmg ak bkr twos kter ko kalo ak jmper at lua.

Umrah

oh yeah. almost forgot. ak xtunjuk pown gambar ak g umrah kan.

So here they are

airport Jeddah

bukit magnet Madinah

bawu8 pas bercukur

kat Madinah

Jabal Uhud

Jabal Uhud lagi

Making Effort?

ONE DAY IF U NEED ME

THERE ARE "100" STEPS BETWEEN US

U GET THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS ME

I WILL TAKE ALL THE "99" STEPS TO BE THERE 4 U

what is LOVE ?

  What is LOVE? ween, love only makes us happy when we trust each other. that's what LOVE truly means. don't get me wrong, but u don't trust me in our relationship. u're too jealous of the other girlz. i'm not saying having the jealous feeling thing is a bad thing but u must control it. it's not that bb gonna love somebody else. can't u trust me? everyday, i mean everyday i really hope that u can trust me juz once. i know i made some mistake back then. i mean mistakeS. but can't u give me another chance? i know, i've been a total jerk back then but it's all in the past. i've changed. it's true that time will make u forget me but time will make me love u more than before. can u give me another chance? besar sgt k dosa bb sampai ween xle nak maapkan bb? it's true, i'm not perfect like ur dream boyfriend would be but i can try my best n i'm doing it right now. there could never be someone who could take the place i saved for u in my heart, and even if time will bring someone new, i'll refuse to have it coz the memories i had with u will always be the sweetest.

  U doesn't even call me yesterday n i'm really sad bout it. can't believe that u would have the heart to do that to me. but i don't care anymore. i love u. plz call me as soon you read this. i really miss u. maybe ur wondering why u have to call me. it's not that i don't wanna call u. it's juz that u knw i have problems with my finances. i don't have any money to topup. i'm really sorry sweetheart. i know. u think love hurts right? but can u forget who hurt u yesterday and think who's loving u tenderly today?

  If i could have just 1 wish, i woul wish to wake up everyday to the sound of ur breath on my neck, the warmth of ur lips on my cheek, the touch of ur fingers on my skin, n the feel of ur heart beating with mine. knowing that, i could never find that feeling with anyone other than u. if i could give u 1 thing in life, i would give u the ability to see urself through my eyes. only then would u realise how special u r to me.

HOW CAN I FORGET U WHEN U R ALWAYS ON MY MIND?

HOW CAN I NOT WANT U WHEN U R ALL I WANT INSIDE?

HOW CAN I LET U GO WHEN I CAN'T SEE US APART?

HOW CAN I NOT LOVE U WHEN U CONTROL MY HEART?

P/S : if u think i miss u all the time u r wrong. i miss u only when i think about u but damn it, i think of u all the time. i miss u sweetheart

here's some tips i wanna give to u : close ur eyes, relax ur body, and stop ur breathing as long as u can...now breath...i miss u as much as u missed the air.