Wow.. it's been like forever for me to post on this blog. bkn psl p, juz i really not into these kind of stuff. u know, bender yang slalu ak aggp 'remeh temeh'. anyway. i post this coz i juz want to knock the senses out of my girlfriend's head. she's acting real weird lately. and when i say weird, u don't wanna know how bad it really were.
Well. she's really pushing me to my limits these days. okay, let me start with when i started to work at puchong. mser ak kjer at saner, she seem real happy coz ak dowk dekat ngan dyer. dyer dowk at shah alam seksyen 13 while im staying at the company's house at puchong. it only took me about 15 to 20 minutes for me to go to her house. every weekend i'll send my time with her. go to her house and took her out. i mean EVERY WEEKENDS. she seems real happy that i have time to be with her. pompuan. tawla dowg camner. they need our (boys) attention. tapi sumer 2 langsung xjdi mslh at ak. coz it seeing her every weekends makes my day. juz by seeing her face, her smile, hearing her laughter surely makes my day better.
But surely this is not a fairytale where all the story will end up happily ever after. we're talking about real life here and in real life i don't believe in happy ending. ak kner tukar tempat tinggal. bos ak suh ak kjer at port klang. n surely i have to move to the company's house at port klang. and kjer at saner xder cuti. tiap2 ari kjer2. blek lmbt. so, i have no time for my girlfriend. tapi 2 sumer xbermakna ak lper at dyer. so i work there for about two months. and honestly, that two months, ak jmper dyer cmer 2 atau 3 kali j. but she's owk with it. she understands me. she understand what i'm going through.
After those few months working my ass working at port klang, i quit the job. ak g mekah towk wat umrah. n kat saner ak langsung xle nak cntct dzurina (my girlfriend). however, she still understands me n she's not mad at all for that whole two weeks while i'm at mekah. i can't even SMS her for the whole two weeks and shes not even mad. blek j dari mekah, ak twos cntct dyer cam beser. she's happy when i came back from mekah. kinda. lpas blek dari mekah 2 ak ader gakla jmper dyer bebaper kali. bab lamer kowt x jmper n cntct dyer. so ak pown g jmper dyer. lepaskan windu memasing n bla bla bla. (sorry. no details provided).
And this is where the happy ending becomes bullshit, full of crap. ak ader mslh ckit ngan family ak these past two weeks i guess. so ak dowk umah nenek ak. juz to clear my mind. kowang taw2la, kalo kowang ader problem ngan fam kowang, it's gonna give you a real headache. yla. mslh bkn kecik tapi besar kan. so ak kurang layan dzu dalam dua minggu ni. i'm a real loser when it comes to control my anger. i didn't wanna realease my anger to my girlfriend so ak amek kputusan towk kurangkan cntct ngan dyer. maybe u guys would say 'come on man, share with her bout ur problems. don't abandon her like she's nothing to you' right? ak nak gtaw something and this is especially for my girlfriend. i sucks when sharing my problems to anybody. bkn xnak tapi ak juz xsleser bler owg len msuk campur mslh ak. ader mslh ak ble share and ader mslh ak xnak share. and this family problem thing is one of it.
So she's pissed with me coz i don't share my problems with her. not only that, i abandon her. bb bkn xnak layan ween. it's juz that u of all people should understand how i roll. ween knal bb dah stahun lbey. u should know why i acted that way. i spend my days watching movies in my laptop juz to forget about my problems. kalo kowg nak taw, yes, i like to run away from problems by doing stupid things juz so that i can forget about them. dah cara 2 j yang le wat ak sleser so suck it up. bb harap ween paham why i treated you that way.
Coz one thing 4 sure, i'll always love u with all my heart. i'd rather die than to spend my life alone not having u by my side. u should believe that IF U REALLY LOVE ME. and for sure i know u do. right? correct me if i'm wrong.
Ni bb nak jujur. ur jealousy really pissing me off. u're too afraid that i might love somebody else that deep down in ur heart u know i wouldn't. so what's the point having those jealous crap thing? u said u doesn't even have a friend coz ween x bersosial lagi. but at least u have Taty, Nina, Syaza and ur sisters, adik n nana. but do u even care who i have? i only have my bestfriend by my side and that's Bohjan or so called Ezee. he's the onl;y friend i've got. ween igt ween j yang xbersosial lagi? u really don't know my situations coz i never told u. u wanna know why i never told u about that? it's coz that i done it for u. coz i really love u with all my heart and soul. bb xminx balasan pown towk p bb wat bab bb wat ikhlas towk ween. bab bb terlampau sayang ween. but u never cared what i felt right.
Last but not least, bb nak tekankan lagi skali, i don't have feelings towards jepun. she's like my other friends. not even a single drop of love. and ween ckp psl nak g UK. if u decide that to further ur studies i have no objection on that. but if u only decide that coz u wanna apart from me, so that u can frget bout me, think again. coz it's not gonna get urself better, but worse. 2 ja kowt bb nak gtaw. make a right decision. bye.
And oh, i almost forgot. i'll take u to the slide in subang right? and bungee jumping at Sunway. and of course the picnic thing ju the both of us. coz i promised u i'll take u there. it's juz that i'll need some time to work on that. coz u know why. i'm not working right now. i kinda have problems with my finances. so juz be patient k.
P/S : i'll always love u with all my heart and soul.
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